It’s been 18 months since I gave birth to the twins and I’m first to admit that the idea of myself becoming a Mommy took a while to sink in. And yet, somewhere in the midst of changing diapers and giving warm baths and witnessing two little humans grow (too fast, I must add), I find myself learning to embrace this (new) role with eyes and arms wide open.
I’m a Mommy, and I love being one!
Left: Taken on Mother’s Day last year; Right: From last month, see how fast they grow?!
The thing is, I was never motherly. Sometime a few years ago, a cousin of mine predicted that I’ll be the last one in my batch to settle down and have kids. I don’t know what made him say it, and I didn’t exactly contest—I knew that I didn’t fit the Mommy profile.
Maybe because I was horrible with kids. Maybe I wasn’t the type to settle down in one place and it showed in the way I restlessly moved from one place to another when I was younger. Or maybe I was too preoccupied with my career at that time that it didn’t look like I had time to pursue having a family.
Or could it be that I feared becoming a mother that I subconsciously pushed it at the back of my mind?
I go over the bucket lists I made when I was younger and find that I never once listed or dreamed of becoming a Mom. Never. Like, it just never crossed my mind. I know of friends who believed in their hearts that they’re going to become mothers someday, and they did become mothers and they’re awesome at it!
As for me? I wanted to be successful in my career, go places (New York, check; Sydney, check; Italy, maybe someday), buy this and that, find The One, get married before 30, establish a passion business, have my dream wedding.. and, the list kindof stopped there.
In retrospect, how can I not have dreamed of becoming a mother someday when it’s one of the best things that’s ever happened to me now? It’s like The Dream I never knew I had!
All these years being unsure of what I want, or what my dream job is, or where I want to go next.. Suddenly, one thing is certain. I’m a Mommy, and God called me to be one when He blessed me and my husband with these two beautiful little girls. And I learn over and over again that no matter how inadequate one feels about a role, God is the one who equips her to be the best person for it.
Surprisingly for me, nothing—no job or hobby or dream—has ever been more fulfilling than this. Epic, I must say, and we all know that the word “epic” is not to be used lightly.
So this is how it feels like, to be a Mom, on Mother’s Day. I don’t think I’ll be receiving hand-made Mother’s Day greeting cards from the twins this year, not yet, but I look forward to the tiny hugs, adorable smiles, and little kisses I’ll be getting today. :D
And before I end this monologue of sorts, I just want to throw a little shoutout to my fabulous Mom who modelled and taught me unconditional love, who raised me to be who I am today, and who remains to be as beautiful and as amazing as ever.
Happy Mother’s Day Mom! I thank the Lord for you! I didn’t quite grasp how much you (and Dad) loved me back then, but I get it now. Thanks for loving me/us the way you do. :-*
And finally, I’d like to send some virtual hugs and highfives to all you mommies out there, all over the world. Happy Mother’s Day! Enjoy this day darlings, you deserve it! :)