sydney – Chasing Dreams

I want to fall in love

May 15, 2010June 15, 2010 Rhiza8 Comments

Two, three years ago, I made a firm declaration in front of some friends that I was never going to leave the Philippines in this lifetime. That’s not to say that I don’t want to travel and explore the world, I do, I’d love to travel as much as my resources would allow me, but leaving Pinas for good to settle somewhere else was, to me, non-negotiable.

And then New York happened in this life of mine. Shortly after, Sydney.

I came across this post Ala Paredes wrote on her tumblr:

In the mornings, when I join the mad rush of people commuting to work, and I’ve been on the train for an hour on my long journey from Western Sydney to the North, I feel uplifted when my train makes its slow crawl across the Harbour Bridge as if it were holding it’s breath.

I see the metropolitan sprawl beneath me, see the Opera House, the ships coming in, and wide expanse of sparkling blue ocean kissing the horizon and think,” Wow, I live and work in this city. You’ve come a long way from day one, baby”.

..and I can’t help but siiiigh and wish I could write the same expression of love.

I fell in love with Sydney when I was there in 2008. I can imagine how it’s like, the morning that Ala so eloquently described, walking around Circular Quay and seeing the Opera House and Darling Harbour as part of a normal day and not just some tourist-thing to do.

I just.. *sigh*, I want to live in a city I’m in love with and constantly falling in love with. And no, please don’t look at me like I’m betraying my own country. I don’t like feeling this way too.

I wish I’m not struggling to choose between loyalty to this city God placed me in and the curiosity that maybe He planted this aching desire in my heart and I’ve got to at least do something to pursue it. It’s a constant struggle that’s tearing me apart every single day.

Please tell me I’m not the only one who feels this way. /rant

On Dead Ends and Closed Doors

April 13, 2010October 14, 2020 Rhiza12 Comments

You know how we sometimes get heartbroken over closed doors and how it feels like it’s the end of the world when God answers us with a “NO”?

The ironic thing about closed doors is, while they, more often than not, leave us heartbroken, disoriented, and empty-handed, they’re actually some of the best things that can ever happen to our young, stubborn, and reckless lives. In spite of all the seemingly bad things that they come with, closed doors actually make decision-making a whole lot easier.

When I was in Sydney in 2008, my cousin and I took a drive one Sunday afternoon to this beautiful little town called Wollongong, an hour’s drive south of the city. (Wollongong is, by the way, officially one of my most, if not the most, favorite places in New South Wales!)

We made it to Wollongong, spent a beautiful day, pretty much lived the Australian dream—munching on fish and chips while basking on a glorious day, sand on my feet, the Pacific Ocean breeze on my skin.

But going back to Sydney, we missed a turn, so we ended up driving around in circles for more than 2 hours finding our way home. Amazingly enough, it was the “NO ENTRY” signs that brought us back on track.

It’s simple logic. When there’s a “NO ENTRY” sign, you have no choice but to not take that route. When God closes a door, you don’t push your way through that closed door, you wait on Him to open another one.

When God answers your questions and prayers with a resounding “NO”, you trust and acknowledge that He wants something else for you.

Such is life.

And I know it’s easier said than done, but I’ve learned through the years that God’s NOs in my life ultimately took me back where I’m supposed to be, especially during those times when I became too stubborn to admit that I lost my way, or times when I deluded myself into thinking that I was on the right track that I stopped relying and asking Him for directions.

“Closed doors are God’s way of directing us on the path He wants us to walk on,” I read somewhere. I couldn’t agree more.

A few months ago, God closed a door to my face and took me out of a place that was clearly not His will for me. And now, I can’t help but heave a sigh of relief, thanking God for being more stubborn than I am, and for loving me so much that He closed all the other doors except this one which He so lovingly left open for me.

I blog this in behalf of Love

March 28, 2010May 13, 2019 Rhiza8 Comments

And I mean that two ways. (1) In behalf of my friend, whose name is Love; and (2) In behalf of this thing you won’t dare try to define because every definition would seem to fall short; this thing that brings two people together to take the leap and journey their lives as one.

Meet Lovelle, or “Love” as friends call her. We knew each other from UP Diliman but her family migrated to Sydney shortly after graduation. When I went there in 2008, Lovelle was among the few friends I got in touch with. I honestly can’t recall the specific details anymore, but I do remember that our quick lunch date then was a meaningful exchange of stories and prayers between two crazy, lovestruck dreamers. These photos are from that beautiful afternoon in Paramatta, we only had a few, oh how I wish I took more!

It has been a while since I last heard from her, and since she last updated her blog. And so I was pleasantly surprised to read this short and sweet blog comment she left in one of my posts, which lead to an exchange of happy emails between two giggly, still-lovestruck but now-2-years-older-and-wiser dreamers.

Here’s an excerpt from her email, her response to my demand for details:

Last Sunday night after church, we were having our goodbye hug but this time, he didn’t let go straight away, instead he whispered, “Will you marry me?” So I had to step back and get him to repeat the question. Haha.

It’s so funny coz all day, even at church, he was agitated and always sulking but he won’t tell me the reason why. At that point, everything dawned on me that he was really scared/tensed/about-to-die coz he didn’t know if I’m gonna say yes to his proposal.

When he asked the question again, I said YES. :)

He didn’t even get a ring coz he’s not too sure of my size so we went engagement ring shopping just today and I got to pick the style and the cut I want. :D

I’ve heard all sorts of engagement proposals, ones which had all the grandeur and fireworks, and they’re great, no doubt about it. But there’s something about simple proposals such as this one that tugs into the deepest portions of my heart. I love the quiet, the simplicity, and how they happen at the most unexpected of times. I can just imagine Lovelle’s joy.

It inspires me to hear stories like these. Of lovers taking the path to marital bliss. Of couples being blessed with babies after years of praying for them. Of high school classmates passing the boards and now having an “Atty.” attached to their names. Of friends leaving their comfort zones, and successfully establishing their careers abroad.

Like I told Lovelle, stories such as hers are living testimonies and constant reminders that God stays true to His promises, and that He is who He said He is — Faithful, Perfecter of our faith, Author of love, Maker of all things beautiful.

Happy is an understatement, Lovelle. My heart soars for you, and the love of your life, and the exciting journey you’re taking together. ♥