Tag: pregnancy

Week 21: Getting the House Ready for Our Soon-to-be Family of Four

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I thought getting married would be the end of my apartment-hopping. Guess not. Less than a year after my husband and I moved into our first home, we’re packing our bags again. At least we’re not changing our address; we’re just moving to a bigger unit in the same building, one with more space to raise twins.

That also means we’re saying goodbye to the roof top we’ve grown to love. But how can we complain, right? I’d take having more space for the twins over having a pretty roof top view anytime. And it was just the perfect timing. We’ve been praying for a bigger space, and suddenly a tenant was vacating one of the units, which makes it, yay, available for us. God answers prayers just in time.

And so the new apartment is like a clean canvass for me to play with. We’re definitely adding more furniture and shelving, and colors! Times like this, it’s always a good first step to start with an inspiration board. Here’s mine:

I know I’ve always complained about not having Ikea in the Philippines, but just this week, I found that there are a few shops selling Ikea items here in Manila. Say hello to Ikea Source Philippines, Invicta, and (this one’s been around for a while) 5 Corners! We scheduled to visit their showrooms this week. For now, I scouted their websites for some major items I consider getting, added some pegs I found here and there, and put this inspiration board together.

I think yellow is a really pretty, gender-neutral accent color, yes? We don’t know yet what our babies’ gender are, but even if they’re girls, I still don’t think I’d pick barbie-pink colors for our home. Whether the twins are boys, or girls, or a boy and a girl, I think my turquoise and apple green color scheme fits just right.

On the other hand, as I was finishing off my inspiration board, I found these really nice *pegs from Pinterest..

..and thought heeyyyy, orange and pink looks good too! I didn’t want to consider these colours at first, but they could work!

So maybe I’m getting some coral pinks and orange too. Like fake flowers, vases, and pillows maybe?

Ahh, the Martha in me is crazy. excited.

Next up: pegs for the babies’ nursery!

* * *

Some notes on the board: (1) Ikea Rast Drawers, to be painted yellow maybe? (2) Ikea Expedit Shelving/Divider, or some alternative; (3) Ikea Bursjon storage/stool; (4) Ikea Rexbo Shelf, a phased out Ikea item which I happened to already have – mine used to be red but now it’s black; (5) Fab Manila Storage Boxes; (6) Black photo frames, fake plants, new curtains.

*Feel free to view my pinterest board to see the sources of these photos.

Week 19: Write it Down On the Tablet of Your Heart

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So I’ve been creatively scribbling stuff on my journal with my G-tech and Artline pens these days, and I’m kinda loving the beautiful mess my journal has become. I love that I’m excited about something artsy/crafty again.

God has been teaching me a lot these days about being calm, gentle, and graceful under pressure; and being content and selfless in making choices.

You know, stuff that great mothers are made of.

And it’s terrifying because it doesn’t feel like a long time ago when I was the baby of the house, and everyone attended to my needs, and all I had to think about was myself.

I was always restless—my feet always needing to go somewhere, my mind wandering in another country, my hand itching to book plane tickets or to swipe my credit card to buy something I already have a dozen of.

But now that my 5-month bump is growing bigger and bigger each week, and my husband and I are crossing the 1-year mark as a married couple, I find myself learning more and more to put other people’s lives on top of my own.

Most of all, I’m learning to let go of old dreams to make room for these new ones.

I sometimes worry about what kind of mother I’m going to be like. I do know what kind of mother I DON’T want to be, I think that one’s easier to figure out. But when I think about the kind of mother I want to be and how far I am from being that person, I panic like you have no idea.

This morning, this passage popped up from the pages of my Bible, and I think I’ll be mulling over these words for the next couple of days:

Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. (Proverbs 3:3)

Love and faithfulness, that’s it! As I try to move towards becoming the best Mommy I can be, I know love and faithfulness is exactly where I have to start.

Deep breaths.

Week 18: All I Think About is Food

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It’s Friday, about a couple of minutes before the work day ends and the weekend begins, and all I can think about is.. food.

My food cravings this past few weeks, on Instagram.

It’s like I have two hungry monsters inside of me! These days, I particularly like sweet stuff and korean food. I was a little worried about getting gestational diabetes because of the sweets, but as far as my last medical test is concerned, my sugar levels are perfectly normal. Yay.

I feel like I should have gained over 30 pounds already with all the food I consumed, but for some reason, I’ve only gained 10 pounds. Does that mean the babies are absorbing all the calories out of me (which is good, right)? Or does it mean I should eat more?

Coz I don’t mind eating more. Really. :)

Have a great weekend, you!

Week 15: It Held You Until My Arms Could

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It’s a rainy Friday night, and I thought I’d post these sunshiney photos of me and my bump from last Sunday.

I was on my 15th week when these photos were taken, but I can seriously feel (and see) a significant change in my bump in just about.. 5 days. No, really. They’re growing fast!

My husband insists I put lotion on my tummy everyday to lessen the stretch marks, especially now. I wasn’t at all worried about the marks at first, really, until I started seeing photos of women with their post-pregnancy stretch marks from Google images (don’t try it!). I have to say, it made me.. frightened.

I really should take the lotion more seriously.

But then I found this poem written by a photographer name Cassie Fox..

Birthmarks

A mark for every breath you took, every blink, every sleepy yawn.
One for every time you sucked your thumb, waved hello, closed your eyes, and slept in the most perfect darkness.
One for every time you had the hiccups.
One for every dream you dreamed within me.

It isn’t very pretty anymore.
Some may even think it’s ugly. 

That’s okay. 

It was your home.
It held you until my arms could, 
and for that,
I will always find something beautiful in it.

..and my eyes teared up almost automatically, reading the poem, just as it would any time the hormones would strike. It dawned on me once again that lives are being formed inside of me, and what a beautiful experience it is to be used as God’s instrument to make life.

Suddenly, I’m not afraid of getting birthmarked anymore. Sure, I’d still put on some lotion (for my husband), but I won’t mind getting a remembrance from our babies’ first home.

Double Blessings

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Saturday, March 31. “God must really love us.. in a really special and weird way,” my husband said, laughing as we tried to recover from the surprise that came with our first ultrasound. One week after we tested positive for pregnancy, we confirmed that we’re not just pregnant.. we’re having twins!

To say that we were surprised is an understatement; we were, mostly, blown away. We never prayed for twins, never expected it, never crossed our minds. There haven’t been any twin pregnancies from both our lineage, at least none that we know of, or none that we can trace. And yet, here they are, growing in my womb. It’s like I could hear God’s still small voice, and see a smile on His lips, “Riz, my dear Riz, you can never predict Me. I have more surprises for you.”

So you must have seen this ultrasound print already, if you’re connected to us in Facebook. We managed to be mum about being pregnant for a few weeks, only our family and a few friends knew. But when we found out that we’re having twins, it’s just so hard to keep it to ourselves! Suddenly, my husband was announcing it in the pulpit of our church before he lead Worship, and excitedly sharing the news on Facebook. We’re overwhelmed by the response and the excitement around us, it’s a great feeling to know that friends and family are praying for us from (literally) all over the world.

I’m on my 9th week now and the morning sickness has been horrible; whoever named it “morning sickness” has no idea what he was talking about, really! This “sickness” is more like an all-day-round-a-clock sickness! I’m always sleepy, and tired, and nauseous, and bloated. They say it’s even worse when you’re carrying twins. Which explains why I have a pile of unprocessed photos and unfinished drafts, why this blog has gone quiet for the past week, and why I haven’t seen a lot of my friends like usual.

On a lighter note, a new level of respect and appreciation has been growing in my heart for mothers who have endured so much pain while the rest of us can only see the cute baby photos and pink little tutus and adorable feeding bottles. Pregnancy sure is a lot of work, and one won’t know it until she experienced it.

So my husband and I have been adjusting to pregnancy—easier on some days (like today!), more difficult on most days. But my heart rests in the assurance that all of this will be worth it when we finally hold our babies in our arms. We’re excited to have our 2nd ultra sound any time this week or next! Hopefully we’ll start hearing some tiny heartbeats too. :)

Meanwhile, on those moments I’m not feeling dizzy and sleepy, I’m actually feeling artsy!

I’m currently playing around with my not-so-new stack of art stuff—some doilies, manila tags, and washi tapes I bought before we found out we’re pregnant. I want to put together a pregnancy journal, something I can show the babies when they’re older. I can’t wait for this first trimester to be over, they say I’ll get my groove back after the first 3 months.

“Behold, children are a gift of the LORD, The fruit of the womb is a reward,” says Psalms 127:3.

Multiply that by the power of two, and that’s how blessed my husband and I feel. :)

Time to Rest and Reflect

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One of the few things I love about working here in the Philippines is the  long holidays. This year, the President declared 6 long weekends. I don’t think there are other countries who enjoy this luxury of long vacations like we do here. Thankfully, this particular 5-day vacation (Holy Week) couldn’t have come at a better time for me.

Struggling with the first trimester, I spent most of my weekend sleeping like I never slept before, and feeling dizzy and nauseous, and a couple of times, throwing up what I ate. I remember being warned about marriage and raising kids. But I can’t remember anyone warning me about pregnancy! Or fine, if anyone did, I probably wasn’t paying attention. :D

When I was not sleeping or feeling dizzy, my husband and I did manage to get out of the house to do something. Here’s a glimpse of our weekend, on Instagram:

He lovingly entertained all my food cravings—from ice cream to baked zitti to mango yogurt. We had some Jollibee delivered. Cooked chicken enchilada. Made omelettes. Baked carrot cupcakes with our neighbors downstairs. Squeezed oranges. I lost track of all the food we consumed this weekend! And can I just say.. my husband has been extremely helpful around the house, cleaning up and keeping everything together while I shifted from being super wife to being-totally-helpless. I don’t think I’ll ever stop staring at him and marveling at how blessed I am to have someone like him journeying this life with me. :)

Today we missed our church’s family outing in Laguna because I was, once again, having a horrible morning; but in the afternoon when I was feeling better, we went to Trinoma to have lunch and to walk around. We passed by this strip of baby shops and made a mental checklist of the things we have to start saving up for. We wondered where all the years have gone and tried to recall when we started feeling like and actually being adults. We pondered upon the things God allowed to happen in our lives, and this new adventure He’s blessed us with. I would be lying if I said I’m not a bit anxious, or scared. But I also know that God won’t give us anything we can’t handle, and the excitement just.. trumps all fears!

The other night, as I was struggling with another attack of nausea, feeling like all my strength is being drained out of me, these words came to me like a lifesaver: It’s God’s love for us that causes us to an end of our own strength. I held on to those words and claimed God’s strength until I finally fell asleep.

Over and over again it’s being confirmed in my heart that He who took us this far will take us farther as He wills.

That’s how I know I will be okay.

That’s how I know we will be okay. :)