Posts Tagged ‘pregnancy’

Week 40: Sweet November

| Posted in Love Life, Mommyhood

It’s been one month since we took Dawn and Rain home, 5 weeks since I delivered them via emergency c-section, 40 months since they were conceived. This week would have been the week they’re due had they been normal, full-term babies. But maybe that’s just it.. these babies are not normal. Born 5 weeks short of full-term, these babies are so special God had to give them a surprise grand entrance. :)


Needless to say, it’s one of the best, if not the best, months of my life. But it wasn’t an easy month too. It was a time of transitions, big and small changes, recovery, learning, growing.

I had to recuperate from my first ever major surgery, discharging a lot of postpartum blood and taking in hypertension meds and pain killers in the process. Our body clock is a wreck, 3 straight hours of sleep is a luxury. Newborns have to be fed within 2-3 hour cycles—imagine having to feed 2 babies one after the other! I have to pump 6 oz of milk every 3 hours if I want to exclusively breastfeed them. We still don’t have a yaya too and we don’t exactly live close to my Mom’s house. That means we have to do the babies’ laundry, wash dishes, sterilize bottles, keep the house clean, cook meals, all of these on top of changing diapers, pumping milk, and taking care of two delicate, premature babies.

I cried a lot. Out of exhaustion, out of frustration, out of joy.

I remember the first time I lost composure and bawled over my new role as a mother. I was alone at home feeding Dawn when Rain started crying. It was the first time the twins did a bawling duet on me, and the first time my husband was not around to nurse the babies with me. I pretended to be the strong and composed adult for the first few minutes. I held on to Dawn with one hand and freed my other hand so I could calm Rain. But shifting positions made Dawn lose her latch and start crying too, so I ended up with two hungry babies who wouldn’t stop crying and two hands which were both full! It was a havoc! I panicked like crazy! Soon, their duet became a trio, with their mother crying with them.

I was only capable of nursing one baby so I decided to focus on Dawn while Rain cried like she couldn’t breathe. Crying and struggling for composure in the process, I finished feeding Dawn and attended to Rain after. I held on to poor baby Rain with tears in my eyes, frustrated at myself for being such a failure. “Sorry baby, sorry, sorry, sorry,” I whispered to Rain as I hugged her and soothed her cries. I was tired, overwhelmed, and upset with myself for putting my babies in so much trauma. For a moment there I wondered what God was thinking entrusting these babies to my care.

Suddenly, the door opened and my husband came in, catching me in my moment of vulnerability. Relief washed through me. It was as if God was reminding me that He hears our cries, that I’m not alone in this journey.

I’ve never stopped learning since that day. Dawn and Rain would still do bawling duets, especially now that they’re starting to hear and imitate each other. But I know how to handle them now. And yes, I did learn some mommy tricks here and there.

You’ve probably seen a lot of happy photographs on our Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook accounts, but in between those happy, colorful moments are vulnerable moments that make us—all four of us—grow.

It wasn’t a particularly easy month for us and our babies (we’re all new at this!) but it’s sweet November nonetheless. After all, it’s the month where four lives became a family, our house became a home, and I, a Mom.

This Pregnancy Series, over and out. :)

Week 35: Surprise delivery (A Birth Story)

| Posted in Faith Walk, Mommyhood

Marking this experience in this blog, before it becomes a distant memory.

My room of “deliverance”, for everything that word means.

“I sought the Lord, and he answered me
and delivered me from all my fears.”
~Psalm 34:4

Whoever said that child birth is such a beautiful experience has placed the expectations up too high. In my experience, the only moment that was beautiful about it was when I heard Dawn & Rain’s first cries—Rain first, and 2 minutes later, Dawn. The rest of it was like a nightmare (or a bad horror movie!) that I just wanted over and done with, and now I’m glad was over.

What should have been my weekly OB check-up led to an emergency confinement starting Saturday, October 20. I was having contractions and my cervix was open 2 cm. My belly was so huge I could hardly breathe. I was only on my 34th week then so I had to stop contracting (it wasn’t time!), and the babies needed steroids for lung development in case I needed to go into c-section earlier than expected.

Which is exactly what happened. As soon as I reached my 35th week, my OB decided it was show time.

And hey, which part of the whole delivery experience was beautiful again?

(more…)

Week 33: How will two kids raise two babies?

| Posted in Married Life, Mommyhood

Husband and I had a fun time opening presents from the baby shower, even though we still haven’t figured out how to use half the stuff we got! We have a little less than a month to get the nursery together now (I know, we’re crammers like that), but my oh my, exciting times ahead! :)

On another note, what I love most about these photos* is my husband’s wacky face. Haha! Sometimes I wonder if he’s fully aware that he’s going to be a father soon. I think he forgets sometimes.

I guess we can tell now which one of us will be the babies’ favorite. Haynakuuu! :)

*Photo is an animated GIF, it might take a while to load.

Week 32: Probably the only time I’m giving pregnancy tips

| Posted in Love Life, Married Life

And I’m not about to tell you what to eat, what to do when your feet are swollen, or what’s the best sleeping position with a huge watermelon-sized tummy. There are gazillions of websites for those tips already (try Baby Center & What to Expect), and surely they know more than I do.

What I’ve been meaning to share is something that is both biblical and practical, and something that’s truly worked for me: First, that you wait until you’re married to get pregnant, and second, that you marry someone who will take care of you in the course of pregnancy (and beyond!) and will take responsibility for your future babies as much as you do.

Photos are from my 26th week, we have not taken maternity shots in a while. 

You see, pregnancy brings about a gazillion of changes in your body, emotions, personality, schedule, and in everything that you are. To start with, pregnancy makes you cranky, and crave for all sorts of food, and pretty much tired all the time. There are days when you feel ugly, and your body will undergo physical changes that are not exactly.. pretty. And then you find yourself crying even more than usual, not just because of the pains but because of hormones as well.

When your baby bump is bigger, you have to be literally pulled out of bed in the mornings (or in the wee hours of the night) because you can’t get up by yourself anymore. You feel pain everywhere, pains that don’t exactly have medical cure, so you need a massage in lieu of pain killers.. or, when the massage does not work, a comfort hug that reminds you that you’re not going through this alone.

Through all these, you need someone patient enough to be around, to support you, and to lovingly be at your beck and call.

And I know it must sound like I’m telling you to get a private caregiver, lol, but mostly what I’m saying is.. aside from the fact that sex and pregnancy are designed by God to be within the bounds of marriage, pregnancy is team effort. It’s hard and challenging, but it becomes so much easier when done as a team.

I salute single mothers out there who’s done pregnancy on their own.. but for you who still have a choice, I’m saying, don’t screw up the timeline, friend. Engagement, wedding, marriage, pregnancy, motherhood—each one is a beautiful phase to savor and enjoy, one phase at a time.

So get married first, and go through pregnancy with your husband. You will definitely need lots of help, lots of love, & lots of attention! ;)

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