Where’s a Peter Pauper Press Journal when you need one? I haven’t seen any in the usual places lately, much to my frustration. And just now I find myself browsing PPP’s online catalog and daydreaming about getting my hands on the journals, specifically these two designs:
Yellow is such a happy color, yeah?
My last journal ran out of pages, and I’ve been using this non-PPP notebook for a while now. And it’s affecting my writing rituals! The paper is too thin, the lines are too thick.. Or I could just be lazy and simply finding excuses. I haven’t written long journal entries lately, and have been merely jotting down verses and quick notes here and there. I miss being absorbed in paper and ink and letting my hand speak for my heart.
When will I ever have the time? (And the journal? Hah!)
I have so much going on in my list, not to mention the house is still a mess, and I’m killing myself for not being able to keep up with everything. It’s a horrid habit of mine, putting my standards up too high—on others, and mostly on myself. Then I end up feeling disappointed about not meeting my own expectations.
And then words like this hit me hard in the head, and I’m amazed once again how God knows what I need to hear/read when I need them:
But You, O Lord, are a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abundant in lovingkindness and truth. ~Psalm 86:15
Our Lord understands our limits. He realizes our struggles. He knows how much pressure we can take. He knows what measures of grace and mercy and strength we’ll require. He knows how we’re put together.
Frankly, His expectations are not nearly as unrealistic as ours.
When we don’t live up to the agenda we have set, we feel like He is going to dump a truckload of judgment on us. But that will not happen.
So why do we fear it could?
I heaved a sigh of relief, thanking God for being merciful, and gracious, and forgiving, when others, or even we, can’t forgive ourselves.
I grabbed a pen and a paper to write these words down. And I thought maybe that’s why I suddenly miss having a journal—I remember things better when I write them down.
And these days, these are the kind of stuff I need to remember.