Lately I’ve been waking up in the morning feeling all sorts of panic. I’ve been losing sleep, juggling too many projects at the same time, getting my deadlines and commitments mixed up, having too many unanswered messages, drowning in lists, bills, codes.
And then there’s the struggle with raising twin toddlers who are growing way too fast, and that nagging guilt that comes with not being able to be there for them as much as I want/need.
That’s not to say that I’m unhappy. There’s so much to be grateful for—I love my job, I have a work setup that’s very supportive of my family’s circumstances, I’m able to earn a bit from something I love to do on the side, I belong to a community I’m passionate about, and have a growing network of clients, collaborators and friends. Most of all, I have two happy and healthy kids, a supportive and loving husband, roof above our heads, food on the table, a warm bed at night.
I guess the “panic” comes from feeling tired all the time, and being frustrated about the lists that never end, the hours that don’t seem to be enough, and the fact that I have to keep working even when sometimes working is the last thing I want to do. (more…)