Archive of ‘Faith Walk’ category

34/52: What Keeps You Grounded? (Mommy Edition)

| Posted in Dawn & Rain, Faith Walk, Mommyhood

Photographs of our twin daughters, once a week, every week, this 2014.





I was having a rough day when I took these photographs and the girls were my instant pick-me-uppers. I have found the key to keeping my sanity and peace of mind, and that is to take a break from everything and just spend time with my girls.

I have a theory: As mothers, doing our mommy duties is the easy part. Personally, I can wipe noses and change diapers and sing “twinkle twinkle little star” all day long and not feel tired doing it. I’d be happy to do it, even. I would spend every single waking hour with the twins if I could. I’d trade places with our yaya in a heartbeat, if only it’s possible.

But I think what makes it challenging is, aside from being mothers, we also have to be other things—we have to maintain a career, sustain a business, be a boss / friend / sister, wash the dishes, manage the household, cook dinner, and so on. Once in a while we have to face extra challenges too, like having to deal with difficult people, beating a major deadline, getting stuck in the MRT during rush hours, and [insert other struggles that you dare not say here.]

All of these consume a huge amount of time and emotions, draining us and taking away the energy that is meant for our kids and our family. It’s not that it’s a bad thing, it’s just the way life is. We have roles to fill, and in retrospect, the Lord uses our circumstances to make us better persons, and better mothers.





Toni recently blogged a really nice piece on how to keep grounded and centered, and I found myself reflecting on the things that keep me grounded too:

  1. God. And the fact that He’s real, and Sovereign, and that He holds my life and my future in His hands. Even though some days are tough, and other people don’t understand; even when criticisms are aplenty and affirmations are scarce, I’ve seen enough miracles in this life to believe that God is the God who vindicates, He’s my reason for living, my anchor, and my refuge. Holding on to His Word and to His promises is my source of joy and hope, in good times and in bad.
  2. My husband. He keeps me calm, he makes me smile. He’s my punching bag, my prayer warrior, my comfort pillow, my best friend. All these while also being my defender and protector. I always find comfort in knowing that we never have to feel “alone” in our challenges, anymore. God has blessed both of us a partner to go through this life with, for better or for worse.
  3. Dawn & Rain. They literally just, take my sadness away! Seriously. I can’t even begin to describe the joy these two bring in my life. Their smiles, the silly things they say, their innocence.. not only do they make me indescribably happy, they also make me brave and keep me strong.
  4. A handful of friends and family. I don’t need a lot of friends, I’ve proven that enough; but I do know that I can’t go through life without my small circle of support, with whom I don’t have to explain myself or pretend to be someone I’m not. Family who’s always there on call. Girlfriends who are a Viber message away. My cell group who inspires me to be better, so that I can inspire them to be better. Such comfort to know that I can count on them when I need a break (or a coffee break, yes!), or prayers, or a shoulder to cry on.
  5. This verse: Colosians 1:16-17. “For by Him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through Him and for Him. And He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together.



When I focus my mind on these things, all my frustrations disappear into nothingness, leaving only the things, and the people, that truly matter.

How about you? What keeps you grounded?

Linking up with Toni.

32/52: Tough Week

| Posted in Dawn & Rain, Faith Walk

Photographs of my daughters, every week, once a week, this 2014.






Let’s just say, it was one of those weeks that started with a trip to the Emergency Room of a hospital, two sick babies, one of them won’t eat or drink milk or take meds. I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t work. We were so worried we almost had one of them confined.

So you can just imagine my relief when the fever finally subsided and appetite started coming back.

And then we started seeing those smiles on their faces again.

This song played over and over in my head this whole week:

You’re mercy flows like a river wild, and healing comes from Your hands. Suffering children are safe in Your arms. There is none like You.”

Healing comes from His hands, indeed.

More about Project 52 here. View all posts in this blog serieshere.


| Posted in Faith Walk

What consumes you?

Last week Rain caught a bad case of flu, and if you’re a Mommy, you would know that no task is more important than a sick baby. Everything had to be placed on hold. I skipped Worship Service on Sunday morning to be with the twins, and by Sunday night we had to take Rain to the ER of a nearby hospital because she refused to take medicines and had little to no intake of liquids and food.

I filed an Emergency Leave on Monday, knowing that there was no way I could work on anything at all with Rain like that. Thankfully, Dawn had a better appetite than her sister so we didn’t have problems feeding her and getting her to take their meds. But Rain.. it’s probably the worst state we’ve seen her so far, and there was a lot of crying, both from Rain and, once the lights were out, from me. 

Rain was clingy, not wanting to be put down the whole time she was sick. The only things I could do with one free hand was scroll through my phone (reply to emails with one hand) or read a book. So read a book, I did. The truth is, I haven’t read a book in years, and what a way to go back to reading! I made a mental note to not wait until sickness strikes again before I read another book.

Normi happened to have lent me her copy of 100 Years From Now by Pastor Steve Murell, and it spoke to me in soooo many levels that, by the time I finished reading it (two days, tops), it felt like I experienced some form of healing myself. It’s hard to explain how a book that talks about the history of a church I don’t even go to made me feel so alive and affirmed of my calling as a mother, but it did.

Let’s just say, I’ve been having an existential crisis for the past couple of months, disappointed at myself for not being able to meet everyone’s expectations of me outside of being a Mom. Except maybe on Mother’s Day, motherhood is not really a widely talked about topic in places like work or church, that it sometimes sounds like being a Mom is a “secondary” or “temporary” calling, next only to your career or church ministries. Being a new mom to young children is hard as it is; not being affirmed of this calling makes you feel even more burnt out.

While it isn’t really the highlight of the book, Pastor Steve affirms how important family is, why we should fight for it, and why it’s okay (and even sacred!) to place your family on top of everything else, including your work and your ministry.

I can talk about the book for hours, take me out on a coffee date and I’ll tell you more about my takeaways from the book. But my most important takeaways are the ones that are related to family, and seeing your family as, not only the basic unit of the society, but the basic unit of the church and your ministry. “Family is the foundation and validation of ministry,” the book says. I feel so empowered to do what the Lord has called me to do, as a wife, a mom, and a messenger of His Gospel.


Rain woke up on Wednesday morning feeling so much better, no more fever, and with a big smile on her face. I was up watching her when she opened her eyes. She cheerfully said “Hi!” and then she hid under her blankie which prompted me to say, “Where’s Rainy?” (It’s our hide-and-seek game.) And then she took her blankie off her face, revealing a huge smile! “There you are!” I said.

You have no idea how happy I was to see that smile on her face again. And at that very moment, I felt God smiling upon me too, and I knew then that I was right where He called me to be.

It was our 3rd wedding anniversary on the same week, and surely there was a lot to celebrate, especially knowing that Rain and Dawn were out of danger zone. My Mom dropped by to watch over the twins while D and I sneaked out for a quick anniversary date. It was a particularly difficult week; still, it never fails to amaze me how God would use our circumstances to affirm us of our true calling, and to draw us even closer to Him.

It wasn’t just Dawn & Rain who were healed last week. I myself received some of that healing too.

21/52: Home is wherever I’m with you

| Posted in Destinations, Moments Like This, Photographs

Photographs of my daughters, once a week, every week, this 2014. Week 21.

21/52: Dawn & Rain

21/52: Dawn & Rain

Once upon a time, my husband and I lived in a roof top apartment. It was our first home, with just enough living space for two and a huge outdoor area that held some of our most memorable experiences as a newly married couple. We had a lot of memories in that rooftop, until we got pregnant and had to move to a bigger space on a lower floor.

Visiting the roof top apartment now, this time with our two little girls, makes me feel a little nostalgic. It wasn’t long ago when it was just the two of us, and now, we’re four, and wow there’s really no stopping time from moving forward.

21/52: Dawn & Rain

21/52: Dawn & Rain

21/52: Dawn & Rain

21/52: Dawn & Rain

As someone who’s moved from one place to another far too many times in the past decade, I’ve come to terms with the fact that houses are temporary, and “home” is that which you bring with you wherever in the world you go. Home can be a place, and it can also be a person, or a group of people, or a collection of memories. But home is not confined to a place, I guess that’s why a new house or a new city or a new country doesn’t instantly make you feel “at home”.

That’s kind of what’s going through my mind every time we go back to the roof top. It doesn’t feel like home anymore. The vines have grown unkempt, some of the plants have dried up, the walls are dirty, the windows are dusty. And yet, in the midst of the strangeness of what used to be a familiar place, I hear Dawn & Rain scream and laugh and run around while their Daddy chase them, and suddenly, there it is. My home, right there with me.

21/52: Dawn & Rain

21/52: Dawn & Rain

Today as I post this, my childhood best friend is on her one-way flight to New York to join her husband there for good. And maybe I’ll rant a handful about that in a separate post, but in a nutshell, her departure is making me think about how temporary most things are in this life. Babies grow, children get older, people leave and move and start a new life elsewhere.

I’ve struggled about moving my whole life, mostly because I’ve become a little too attached to places, to people, or to the memories associated with them. I hate saying goodbye. I don’t like packing. Moving scares me and I wondered many times why I kept doing it.

But something about my best friend leaving, and now having David, Dawn and Rain in my life, gives me this new-found courage, this quiet assurance. The assurance that wherever in the world the Lord takes us, whether we stay or move, whether friends leave or we leave.. we’ll be okay. As long as we’re together, the four of us, home is wherever we go.

More about Project 52 here. View all posts in this blog series here.

My Hillsong story is NOT my story

| Posted in Faith Walk

If you’ve been following my blog for a while, you’ll know that I’ve recounted this story many many times. It’s a story I love talking about because God has taught me so many things through this experience—lessons on trusting His perfect timing, never giving up on dreams that He has planted in our hearts, and holding on to the truth that His ways are always higher than ours.

Today I’m in the mood to put together this little timeline!

Hillsong Story

(Click the image to zoom in.)

I never really made it to the Hillsong Conference

Looking at this timeline, you’ll notice that I never really made it to the Hillsong Conference at all. After my last attempt in  2009, I sort-of stopped trying. Not really because I gave up on the dream, it was mostly because God has planted new dreams in my heart. I was in New York in 2010, got married in 2011, gave birth to twins in 2012, landed a new job in 2013, and well, there really wasn’t any time (and budget!) to squeeze in Hillsong Conference the past 5 years.

My priorities shifted to easing into this new life with my husband and raising our little family. And although I still daydream about experiencing the Hillsong Conference, it’s one of those things I’ve set aside for later.

Still, this Hillsong story remains to be one of my “stones of remembrance”, something I always look back to, to reflect on what God has been doing in my life, or when I need to encourage a friend.  (more…)

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