Archive of ‘Mommyhood’ category

Two Years

| Posted in Dawn & Rain, Mommyhood

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2ndbirthday

Photos from two years ago.

It’s that moment when the lights are out, and everyone is asleep, and I’m alone as the clock strikes 12 on a very special day. The twins’ 2nd birthday officially begins! And it’s as if they wanted me to have this moment to myself—to breathe, to let stuff sink in, to be quiet, to reminisce, to thank the Lord for every good and perfect gift.

I’ve been reading posts from two years ago over the past hour, and I.. am such a crybaby. Is this okay? Am I being too melodramatic? Is it normal for mommies to be a little sentimental about things like, you know, birthdays and stuff?

Around this time, 2 years ago, I was being wheeled into the recovery room after giving birth via c-section, and Dawn & Rain were breathing their first breaths. Fast forward to last night, before the girls fell asleep, Dawn was singing twinkle twinkle little star (without the actual words) at the top of her lungs, and Rain was busy putting coins in her new alkansya. Meanwhile, their Daddy and I watched them with amusement and so much love.

Do you remember?

Wow. What difference two years can make!

I want to share King David’s Prayer of Thanksgiving, which has become the prayer of my heart today:

“Sovereign Lord, I am not worthy of what you have already done for me, nor is my family. Yet, now you are doing even more, Lord. You have made promises about my descendants in the years to come. And you let a man see this! What more can I say to you! You know me, your servant. It was your will and purpose to do this. You have done all these great things in order to instruct me. How great you are, Lord! There is none like you, we have always known that You alone are God.” ~2 Samuel 7:18-28

God is beyond amazing. And this mommy here is ready to celebrate. Today is going to be awesome. :)

Recently: Unusual Monday Morning

| Posted in Married Life, Mommyhood, Recently

Tune Hotel

Tune Hotel

Tune Hotel

Tune Hotel

Tune Hotel

There was this moment, waking up in a room at Tune Hotel on Monday morning, that was strangely familiar. It happens every time we’re in an unfamiliar place, and I look around to see my little family, and I suddenly have this overwhelming rush of emotions, and I know right then that home is right there with me.

Power went out at past 7:00pm Sunday night, in the middle of a storm, and we found refuge in a nearby hotel where we evacuated for the night. Have you ever tried out Tune Hotel? Very affordable and impressive, I must say. Even though we only stayed half-a-day, the price was very reasonable and certainly worth it. The room was small but very clean. There weren’t a lot of amenities, but the pillows, sheets, and towels were top quality. For an emergency accommodation, we sure got our money’s worth.

We heard the electricity was restored in our area at around 2:00am, but D and the girls were already sleeping soundly by that time.

I woke up on Monday morning, sunshine coming through the glass windows of our small room, and I knew I just had to preserve that moment. I said a quick prayer to God, thanking Him for keeping us safe, and warm, and dry; and for being our shelter in the time of storm, both literally and figuratively.

I looked at my family, still sleeping, squeezed in a queen-sized bed which was our home for the night, and my heart swelled with so much love. Will I ever get used to this (not so) new life? The girls have grown so much, and D and I have been living together for over 3 years, and yet, it still sometimes feels like it hasn’t really sunk in yet. (Are they really my daughters? Is he really my husband? Is this really my life now?)

Anyone can relate to this feeling? Please tell me I’m not the only one who feels this way.

35/52: Birthday Dresses

| Posted in Dawn & Rain, Mommyhood

Photographs of my daughters, once a week, every week, this 2014.

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We bought them these dresses from Periwinkle for their first birthday party, and in a classic budget-conscious mommy fashion, I bought dresses that were one size bigger (18months) so that they can wear them for a long time. True enough, they’re turning 2 years old soon, and they can still wear these dresses!

Which is swell, because they didn’t exactly have a lot of nice pictures from their first birthday party. At least none of them smiling or enjoying their party like we imagined they would.

And then we realized that maybe first birthday parties are really more for the parents than for the kids. We’re celebrating their birthday alright, but mostly we’re celebrating ourselves for surviving the first year of parenthood, and for God’s infinite grace and guidance and provision to us as we went through this first year of stretching, and learning, and growing.

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35/52

It’s been almost one year since that first birthday. How can time fly so fast?

Blogging about Bella & Sam’s birthday party last week reminded me that it’s about time we start thinking about Dawn & Rain’s 2nd birthday party too. We’ve been putting so much thought on how we want to celebrate this year, especially now that Dawn & Rain can already interact, and have fun, and appreciate attention and love around them. Nothing grand. It’s going to be a small and sweet celebration, but just thinking about the smiles on their faces is already making my heart burst with joy.

More about Project 52 here. View all posts in this blog series here.

34/52: What Keeps You Grounded? (Mommy Edition)

| Posted in Dawn & Rain, Faith Walk, Mommyhood

Photographs of our twin daughters, once a week, every week, this 2014.

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I was having a rough day when I took these photographs and the girls were my instant pick-me-uppers. I have found the key to keeping my sanity and peace of mind, and that is to take a break from everything and just spend time with my girls.

I have a theory: As mothers, doing our mommy duties is the easy part. Personally, I can wipe noses and change diapers and sing “twinkle twinkle little star” all day long and not feel tired doing it. I’d be happy to do it, even. I would spend every single waking hour with the twins if I could. I’d trade places with our yaya in a heartbeat, if only it’s possible.

But I think what makes it challenging is, aside from being mothers, we also have to be other things—we have to maintain a career, sustain a business, be a boss / friend / sister, wash the dishes, manage the household, cook dinner, and so on. Once in a while we have to face extra challenges too, like having to deal with difficult people, beating a major deadline, getting stuck in the MRT during rush hours, and [insert other struggles that you dare not say here.]

All of these consume a huge amount of time and emotions, draining us and taking away the energy that is meant for our kids and our family. It’s not that it’s a bad thing, it’s just the way life is. We have roles to fill, and in retrospect, the Lord uses our circumstances to make us better persons, and better mothers.

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Toni recently blogged a really nice piece on how to keep grounded and centered, and I found myself reflecting on the things that keep me grounded too:

  1. God. And the fact that He’s real, and Sovereign, and that He holds my life and my future in His hands. Even though some days are tough, and other people don’t understand; even when criticisms are aplenty and affirmations are scarce, I’ve seen enough miracles in this life to believe that God is the God who vindicates, He’s my reason for living, my anchor, and my refuge. Holding on to His Word and to His promises is my source of joy and hope, in good times and in bad.
  2. My husband. He keeps me calm, he makes me smile. He’s my punching bag, my prayer warrior, my comfort pillow, my best friend. All these while also being my defender and protector. I always find comfort in knowing that we never have to feel “alone” in our challenges, anymore. God has blessed both of us a partner to go through this life with, for better or for worse.
  3. Dawn & Rain. They literally just, take my sadness away! Seriously. I can’t even begin to describe the joy these two bring in my life. Their smiles, the silly things they say, their innocence.. not only do they make me indescribably happy, they also make me brave and keep me strong.
  4. A handful of friends and family. I don’t need a lot of friends, I’ve proven that enough; but I do know that I can’t go through life without my small circle of support, with whom I don’t have to explain myself or pretend to be someone I’m not. Family who’s always there on call. Girlfriends who are a Viber message away. My cell group who inspires me to be better, so that I can inspire them to be better. Such comfort to know that I can count on them when I need a break (or a coffee break, yes!), or prayers, or a shoulder to cry on.
  5. This verse: Colosians 1:16-17. “For by Him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through Him and for Him. And He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together.

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When I focus my mind on these things, all my frustrations disappear into nothingness, leaving only the things, and the people, that truly matter.

How about you? What keeps you grounded?

Linking up with Toni.

20/52: Tutus and rubber shoes

| Posted in Dawn & Rain, Mommyhood, Portraits

Photographs of my daughters, once a week, every week, this 2014. Week 20.

20/52: Dawn & Rain

20/52: Dawn & Rain

One Sunday morning in May, I dressed up the twins in tutus and rubber shoes. It was one of those not-so-rare moments when I feel so grownup and so much like a kid at the same time. Obviously, dressing them up is one of my most favorite Mommy “perks”, and with little girls like these, can you blame me?

As I was taking out the camera that morning, the most adorable thing happened. Dawn & Rain happily positioned themselves with their backs on the wall, on their own, grinning at me as if ready to have their photographs taken!

20/52: Dawn & Rain

20/52: Dawn & Rain

20/52: Dawn & Rain

20/52: Dawn & Rain

20/52: Dawn & Rain

I’m not sure if I should smack myself in the head or give myself a high five. Apparently, this weekly photo session has become a habit to them as it has to me that they already know their spot on that wall. Good job, girls!

20/52: Dawn & Rain and Daddy

And then their Daddy came out and started singing songs.

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If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands!

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If you’re happy and you know it, stomp your feet!

And then they sat on the stairs and posed some more.

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And then Dawn looked at me like this, and how can you not take photographs of her when she’s looking at you that way right?

20/52: Dawn

20/52: Dawn

She knows when someone’s taking a picture of her, you guys, she does.

Just a few more shots, with Mommy this time, and then it was time to go to church.

2052: Dawn, Rain and Mommy

Happy babies, happy mommy.

The truth is, toddlers are a handful. Make that twin toddlers and you probably lost your mind just now when you tried to imagine how it’s like.

They make you chase them around in circles, their high-pitched screams sometimes give you (and everyone in the room) headache, they can’t sit or stay in one place longer than one minute. They “talk” a lot, but none of it you can understand. You try to teach them words, but they can’t seem to pick up about 98% of them.

It’s a frustrating, tiring, and demanding stage.

But it’s a beautiful stage nonetheless. The precious smiles, the kisses, the laughter.. I’m cherishing every moment. Every single one.

More about Project 52 here. View all posts in this blog series here.

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