Archive of ‘Mommyhood’ category

34/52: What Keeps You Grounded? (Mommy Edition)

| Posted in Dawn & Rain, Faith Walk, Mommyhood

Photographs of our twin daughters, once a week, every week, this 2014.

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I was having a rough day when I took these photographs and the girls were my instant pick-me-uppers. I have found the key to keeping my sanity and peace of mind, and that is to take a break from everything and just spend time with my girls.

I have a theory: As mothers, doing our mommy duties is the easy part. Personally, I can wipe noses and change diapers and sing “twinkle twinkle little star” all day long and not feel tired doing it. I’d be happy to do it, even. I would spend every single waking hour with the twins if I could. I’d trade places with our yaya in a heartbeat, if only it’s possible.

But I think what makes it challengingis, aside from being mothers, we also have to be other things—we have maintain a career, sustain a business, be a boss / friend / sister, wash the dishes, manage the household, cook dinner, and so on. Once in a while we have to face extra challenges too, like having to deal with difficult people, beating a major deadline, getting stuck in the MRT during rush hours, and [insert other struggles that you dare not say here.]

All of these consume a huge amount of time and emotions, draining us and taking away the energy that is meant for our kids and our family. It’s not that it’s a bad thing, it’s just the way life is. We have roles to fill, and in retrospect, the Lord uses our circumstances to make us better persons, and better mothers.

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3452-rain

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Toni recently blogged a really nice piece on how to keep grounded and centered, and I found myself reflecting on the things that keep me grounded too:

  1. God. And the fact that He’s real, and Sovereign, and that He holds my life and my future in His hands. Even though some days are tough, and other people don’t understand; even when criticisms are aplenty and affirmations are scarce, I’ve seen enough miracles in this life to believe that God is the God who vindicates, He’s my reason for living, my anchor, and my refuge. Holding on to His Word and to His promises is my source of joy and hope, in good times and in bad.
  2. My husband. He keeps me calm, he makes me smile. He’s my punching bag, my prayer warrior, my comfort pillow, my best friend. All these while also being my defender and protector. I always find comfort in knowing that we never have to feel “alone” in our challenges, anymore. God has blessed both of us a partner to go through this life with, for better or for worse.
  3. Dawn & Rain. They literally just, take my sadness away! Seriously. I can’t even begin to describe the joy these two bring in my life. Their smiles, the silly things they say, their innocence.. not only do they make me indescribably happy, they also make me brave and keep me strong.
  4. A handful of friends and family I do life with. I don’t need a lot of friends, I’ve proven that enough; but I do know that I can’t go through life without my small circle of support, with whom I don’t have to explain myself or pretend to be someone I’m not. Such comfort to know that I can count on them when I need a break (or a coffee break, yes!), or prayers, or a shoulder to cry on.
  5. This verse: Colosians 1:16-17. “For by Him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through Him and for Him. And He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together.

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When I focus my mind on these things, all my frustrations disappear into nothingness, leaving only the things, and the people, that truly matter.

How about you? What keeps you grounded?

Linking up with Toni.

20/52: Tutus and rubber shoes

| Posted in Dawn & Rain, Mommyhood, Portraits

Photographs of my daughters, once a week, every week, this 2014. Week 20.

20/52: Dawn & Rain

20/52: Dawn & Rain

One Sunday morning in May, I dressed up the twins in tutus and rubber shoes. It was one of those not-so-rare moments when I feel so grownup and so much like a kid at the same time. Obviously, dressing them up is one of my most favorite Mommy “perks”, and with little girls like these, can you blame me?

As I was taking out the camera that morning, the most adorable thing happened. Dawn & Rain happily positioned themselves with their backs on the wall, on their own, grinning at me as if ready to have their photographs taken!

20/52: Dawn & Rain

20/52: Dawn & Rain

20/52: Dawn & Rain

20/52: Dawn & Rain

20/52: Dawn & Rain

I’m not sure if I should smack myself in the head or give myself a high five. Apparently, this weekly photo session has become a habit to them as it has to me that they already know their spot on that wall. Good job, girls!

20/52: Dawn & Rain and Daddy

And then their Daddy came out and started singing songs.

20/52: Dawn & Rain

If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands!

20/52: Dawn & Rain

If you’re happy and you know it, stomp your feet!

And then they sat on the stairs and posed some more.

20/52: Dawn & Rain

And then Dawn looked at me like this, and how can you not take photographs of her when she’s looking at you that way right?

20/52: Dawn

20/52: Dawn

She knows when someone’s taking a picture of her, you guys, she does.

Just a few more shots, with Mommy this time, and then it was time to go to church.

2052: Dawn, Rain and Mommy

Happy babies, happy mommy.

The truth is, toddlers are a handful. Make that twin toddlers and you probably lost your mind just now when you tried to imagine how it’s like.

They make you chase them around in circles, their high-pitched screams sometimes give you (and everyone in the room) headache, they can’t sit or stay in one place longer than one minute. They “talk” a lot, but none of it you can understand. You try to teach them words, but they can’t seem to pick up about 98% of them.

It’s a frustrating, tiring, and demanding stage.

But it’s a beautiful stage nonetheless. The precious smiles, the kisses, the laughter.. I’m cherishing every moment. Every single one.

More about Project 52 here. View all posts in this blog series here.

18/52: Eighteen deserves a little party

| Posted in Dawn & Rain, Mommyhood, Photographs

Photographs of my daughters, once a week, every week, this 2014. Week 18.

18/52: Dawn & Rain

18/52: Dawn & Rain

18/52: Dawn & Rain

18/52: Dawn & Rain

18/52: Dawn & Rain

18/52: Dawn & Rain

Somewhere between weeks 18 and 19, our Dawn & Rain turned 18 months old. It was a milestone for a couple of reasons: 1) We’re half-way through their 2nd year; 2) Their size 18-24m dresses will now start to fit (I know, big deal right?); 3) As per BabyCenter, at 18 months they’re officially toddlers; 4) They’re growing healthy and beautifully; 5) God has supplied all their needs from day one, and we couldn’t be any more blessed than that.

When they turned half-a-year old, we had a little cupcake party in church. I felt the need to do something extra-special for their 18th month too, except I didn’t see this day coming until less than 24 hours before April 24. Without enough time to prepare for a small get-together, we decided to have our little party to ourselves, which, it turned out, was even more perfect.

Pink & Gold Little Party

18 months

We bought a cake and some supplies, DIY-ed a cake-topper, stringed together some cut-out buntings and designed them with gold letters and patterns. Yes, excited mommy got carried away.

And the best part—time to eat the cake!

18 months!

18 months!

18 months!

We watched them as they inspected the pink cake in front of them, maybe wondering what to do with it. Dawn was first to dig her hand in, playing with the bright pink icing with one hand. And then she started licking the pink gooey thing off her finger tips. Realizing that it tasted good, she took a handful of the cake and shoved it in her mouth. Haha. Rain followed her lead and my husband and I were laughing so hard watching the girls enjoy their cake and make a mess.

And then their Daddy joined the party,

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..and this is the part where I totally lost it!

Watching them from behind the camera, I wasn’t sure if I would roll over laughing or cry buckets of joyful tears. It was such a happy day! And looking at these photographs now is making me happy, so I guess it makes today a happy day too.

There were other heart-melting moments I failed to capture, like when Rain tried to shove some cake inside her Daddy’s mouth, or when Dawn excitedly hugged his Daddy with icing all over her body. At that point I already put away the camera and was trying my best to keep the mess (read: bright pink icing and chocolate cake crumbs) in one place.

Sometimes I wonder if these childhood memories we’re trying to make for the girls are more for us than for them. I want to remember these moments forever. And I want them to know that these days happened. This is the reason why I keep taking photographs and documenting memories as much as I can. I know that someday, their only recollection of this day will be the photographs we took and the stories that accompanied each frame.

I hope that when that day comes, Dawn and Rain will know how happy our lives have been because of them.

More about Project 52 here. View all posts in this blog series here.

It’s Mother’s Day, and, oh hey, I’m a Mommy!

| Posted in Mommyhood

It’s been 18 months since I gave birth to the twins and I’m first to admit that the idea of myself becoming a Mommy took a while to sink in. And yet, somewhere in the midst of changing diapers and giving warm baths and witnessing two little humans grow (too fast, I must add), I find myself learning to embrace this (new) role with eyes and arms wide open.

I’m a Mommy, and I love being one!

Mother's Day

Left: Taken on Mother’s Day last year; Right: From last month, see how fast they grow?!

The thing is, I was never motherly. Sometime a few years ago, a cousin of mine predicted that I’ll be the last one in my batch to settle down and have kids. I don’t know what made him say it, and I didn’t exactly contestI knew that I didn’t fit the Mommy profile.

Maybe because I was horrible with kids. Maybe I wasn’t the type to settle down in one place and it showed in the way I restlessly moved from one place to another when I was younger. Or maybe I was too preoccupied with my career at that time that it didn’t look like I had time to pursue having a family.

Or could it be that I feared becoming a mother that I subconsciously pushed it at the back of my mind?

I go over the bucket lists I made when I was younger and find that I never once listed or dreamed of becoming a Mom. Never. Like, it just never crossed my mind. I know of friends who believed in their hearts that they’re going to become mothers someday, and they did become mothers and they’re awesome at it! As for me? I wanted to be successful in my career, go places (New York, check; Sydney, check; Italy, maybe someday), buy this and that, find The One, get married before 30, establish a passion business, have my dream wedding.. and, the list kindof stopped there.

In retrospect, how can I not have dreamed of becoming a mother someday when it’s one of the best things that’s ever happened to me now? It’s like The Dream I never knew I had! All these years being unsure of what I want, or what my dream job is, or where I want to go next.. Suddenly, one thing is certain.  I’m a Mommy, and God called me to be one when He blessed me and my husband with these two beautiful little girls. And I learn over and over again that no matter how inadequate one feels about a role, God is the one who equips her to be the best person for it.

Surprisingly for me, nothingno job or hobby or dreamhas ever been more fulfilling than this. Epic, I must say, and we all know that the word “epic” is not to be used lightly.

So this is how it feels like, to be a Mom, on Mother’s Day. I don’t think I’ll be receiving hand-made Mother’s Day greeting cards from the twins this year, not yet, but I look forward to the tiny hugs, adorable smiles, and little kisses I’ll be getting today. :D

mommy And before I end this monologue of sorts, I just want to throw a little shoutout to my fabulous Mom who modelled and taught me unconditional love, who raised me to be who I am today, and who remains to be as beautiful and as amazing as ever.

Happy Mother’s Day Mom! I thank the Lord for you! I didn’t quite grasp how much you (and Dad) loved me back then, but I get it now. Thanks for loving me/us the way you do. :-*

And finally, I’d like to send some virtual hugs and highfives to all you mommies out there, all over the world. Happy Mother’s Day! Enjoy this day darlings, you deserve it! :)

14/52: Just Another One of Those Days

| Posted in Dawn & Rain, Mommyhood, Photographs

Photographs of my daughters, once a week, every week, this 2014. Week 14.

14/52: Dawn & Rain

14/52: Dawn & Rain

14/52: Dawn & Rain

14/52: Dawn & Rain

14/52: Dawn

14/52: Rain

Just another one of those afternoons where the girls are out to play with their Daddy.

..while I capture as many photographs as I can, laughing with them, smiling from the other side of the camera, and trying to keep my heart from bursting.

14/52: Dawn, Rain & Daddy

14/52: Dawn, Rain & Daddy

14/52: Dawn, Rain & Daddy

Hayyy. These girls. See those funny-slash-poker faces Dawn makes? (She does that a lot!) And how Rain smiles at her Daddy? (She adores him! And vice versa.)

Oh. my. heart.

I have no further words.

Xoxo,
This lovestruck Mommy

More about Project 52 here. View all posts in this blog series here.

We weren’t joking alright

| Posted in Dawn & Rain, Mommyhood

Two years ago, on April Fools Day, we announced on our Facebook wall that we were having twins. It sounded like something someone would post on April Fools, but we were overjoyed and we couldn’t wait until April 1 was over to share the news to our family and friends.

April Fools Joke -- NOT

“I know it must sound like a really good April Fools joke, but it’s for real, we’re having twins. We’re still recovering from the sweet surprise, thank you for including us in your prayers.”

It wasn’t an April Fools joke alright, but we still couldn’t help but laugh whenever we remember that moment we found out we were having twins.

We were in the ultrasound room of Delgado Memorial Hospital, when the sonographer on duty nonchalantly announced The single most life-changing news of our lives.

“Twins? Seriously?” my husband squeaked, “Are you really sure?” I remained still on the hospital bed, and my husband barraged the sonographer a bazillion questions I would have asked myself, except I was frozen and unable to say anything at all. He calmly explained to us what we were seeing on the ultrasound screentwo gestational sacs, one placenta, 5 weeks old.

“How did that happen?” my husband asked.
“Do you have twins in your family?” 
the sonographer asked us back.
“None in my family,” 
I answered. (That time, we didn’t know this yet.)
“Is that really possible?” My husband asked.
“Yes. It happens. Very rare, but it’s possible to have twins even if you don’t have it in your genes,” said the sonographer.

He answered a few more questions until we’re positively convinced that what we heard (and saw!) were true. Dazed, we went out of the ultrasound room, sat in the hospital lobby to wait for our ultrasound prints, and took some couple selfies that we later posted on Facebook. We then called my Mom, and then my husband’s father, who also couldn’t believe their ears.

The rest, as they say, is history.

They’re turning 18 months old this month, and wow do babies grow fast! It’s not at all easy to raise twins, and there are days when I feel so tired like I could sleep an entire week straight. The expenses are doubled, the responsibilities are doubled, and I sometimes wish 24 hours a day is doubled too. There’s never enough time for everything!

But what an awesome, awesome ride this is, and believe it or not I still sometimes whisper to my husband at night, “Do we really have twins sleeping in the bed with us?” He would smile and answer, “yes we do” to state the obvious, and we would drift off to sleep like thatsmiling.

God wasn’t joking alright, when He called us to be the parents of these two, and we couldn’t be any more grateful for this sweet April Fools surprise God has played on us.

Best April Fools non-joke ever.

7/52: Everyday is Valentines Day

| Posted in Dawn & Rain, Love Life, Married Life, Mommyhood, Portraits

Photographs of my daughters, once a week, every week, in 2014. Week 5.

52 Week Project

7/52: Dawn & Rain

7/52: Dawn & Rain

7/52: Dawn

7/52: Rain

Dawn & Rain: Loved these heart-shaped balloons we bought from a street vendor on Valentines Day.
Dawn: Marched around the house holding her balloon the whole night, squealing in delight.
Rain: Liked her balloon too, but she seemed to like to spend time with her Daddy more. #myheart

It’s been a month since these photographs were taken, please bear with me on this dated Valentines post. I remember receiving flowers from D that day, and cooking dinner for him, and getting out of the house to run errands together, and then chancing upon a street vendor who was selling heart-shaped balloons.

I guess you can say that it was uneventful by traditional standards. But I realize now, when you’re older (or when you have kids), that V-day is just another day, and you can make any day Valentines Day anyway. Just like now, when I suddenly thought about posting these photographs. :)

At the risk of sounding like a bad Hallmark card, everyday is Valentines Day in this house!

7/52: Dawn

Dawn’s captured moments could totally pass off as stock photos don’t you think?

More about Project 52 here. View all posts in this blog series here. Linking up with Jodi.

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