Chasing Dreams

If there’s one day, just one day, in your life when you made a decision that changed you forever, when was it?

No, it wasn’t my wedding day, life-changing as it had been. Today I’m thinking of a day that’s quite similar to a wedding, because it also involves a life-long covenant, a bold decision, and a leap of faith.

June 11, 1994. I was 11 years old. I went with my Mom to their office, which also happens to be our church. My Mom works in the church, have I ever mentioned that? My Dad was a Pastor and my Mom partnered with him in that ministry for 33 years. Until now, even after Dad passed away, my Mom still works in SBCC. So I grew up there, attending (later on, teaching) Sunday schools, youth camps, Bible studies, fellowship groups, and tagging along wherever my parents went.

But it was in June 11, 1994 when it all became clear to me that being a Christian is not exactly inheritable. When your parents are Christians, that doesn’t make you one by default. Sure, parents can raise you up in a Christian environment, but their belief does not automatically become your belief. It’s a decision only YOU can make for yourself. And it’s a decision that God will call you to do.

And so I surrendered my life to Jesus that day in 1994. I remember praying with my Mom and shedding lots of tears. I remember understanding for the first time that Jesus Christ suffered and died in the cross because it’s the only way to save us from our sins.

“He loves us that much?”, I remember my 11-year-old self asking my Mom, wiping my tears away. Even until now, whenever I think about God’s goodness, I would find myself saying variations of that very sentence: Really, Lord? You love me that much?

What does an 11 year old girl know about making decisions anyway, you ask. I’m not sure how to answer that question either, being 11 felt too long ago. All I know is, I remember June 11, 1994 vividly, and that day was the start of this amazing ride. And although at times I find myself falling or bruising myself along the way, it’s God’s love for me that kept me going and moving forward in this journey of faith.

My faith story is not like Rica Paralejo‘s or Manny Pacquiao‘s (Go ahead, click those links, watch their stories and be blessed!). Theirs was a drastic decision to turn away from their old lives, while I grew up in church and didn’t have to adjust so much. But the Spirit that changed them is the same that worked in my life, and is continuously working in our lives. Truly, Jesus’ act of love 2,000 years ago, His death on the cross, has the power to redeem us from our self-destructive, sinful nature and give us eternal life.

If only we would let Him.

How? Just believe.

Believe that you need a Saviour, that you need Jesus Christ in your life. Believe that no amount of good works is enough to earn you eternal life, after all, heaven does not have a point system. All sins fall in the same category, and sin comes with a price. As it’s been said in Romans 6:23:

“For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord.” 

Not by works, just Jesus.

Believe. Surrender. Accept His gift of eternal life. That’s all it takes.

Is there one day in your life when you made a decision that changed your life forever?

This could be that day.

I love that our church celebrates its anniversary on the first month of the year. Being a daughter of SBCC‘s first Senior Pastor, January has always been like this for me and my family, even after Dad went to be with the Lord. In fact, it almost feels as if my mind was programmed to think that the holiday season goes like this: Christmas, and then New Year, and then Church Anniversary.

That’s how it felt like last Sunday. Like Christmas morning and the dawn of New Year all in one day.

The worship tent was overflowing with both familiar faces and strangers. Seeing new faces in church is a real joy; to me that means our church is growing, and God’s Word is being widely spread in the community. I looked around the church I grew up in, thankful that God kept me here at such a time as this and grateful for the opportunity to witness such growth, such revival.

Listening to the sermon, I wrote on my journal profusely—notes about seeing each situation with eyes of faith; of giving your all and not holding back; of rejoicing about things that are still unseen. It still blows my mind how God knows exactly what I need to hear when I need to hear it. Do you feel that too?

And now, as I read the notes I wrote on my journal last Sunday, this sentence zoomed in on me:

Sometimes, God operates in ways that don’t make sense.

I read it once, twice, thrice. I read it many times over. I thought of the things in my life that don’t make sense to me, enumerating them like a mental checklist—frustrating things, impossible things, unfair things. It’s easy to feel dejected thinking about things that don’t make sense, no? Humans that we are, we long to understand what’s happening, to get a glimpse of what’s going to happen next or when the torture is going to end, to find answers to questions quick.

But it seems that these are God’s best working conditions. He operates in the realm of the impossible, that’s why when life finally reveals what He’s been up to, we often find ourselves surprised, in awe, amazed.

Sampaloc Bible Christian Community is a testament to that.

My life is a testament to that. Last year, most especially.

So if you’re going through something that seems impossible and does not make sense, I say, instead of feeling frustrated, be crazy excited! It only means that God is silently at work, getting you ready for something truly amazing.

This is how I know that 2012 will be even more. mind. blowing. ;)

Lately it’s our favorite pastime, the what-were-you-doing-exactly-this-time-last-year game. Especially this past year when, for us, changes have been dramatic.

i.e. (1) Last year, on my husband’s birthday, we were saying good bye; this year, we woke up next to each other and ate pancakes for breakfast. (2) Last year, on New Year’s Eve, we were shouting our greetings to each other over long distance phone calls, twice, because of the time difference; this year, we’re in Manila Hotel with David’s extended family, we watched the last sunset of the year together, and we welcomed the new year in the same continent and timezone. And then we had a beautiful quality time, just the two of us, at home, before work and classes resumed.

Behold the last sunset of 2011.

I had quite a number of milestones in 2011.

I encountered God like I never did before, after which, answered prayers and miracles happened one after the other I can never stop praising and thanking God.

And then LifeXtreme happened in this life of mine. It’s a humbling experience to be part of the committee that frontlines our church’s Youth Worship. This coming March marks LifeXtreme’s anniversary and I’m so blessed to have witnessed God’s work in our church’s youth ministry up front and center.

I turned 28, and celebrated what turned out to be my last birthday as a single person.

I let go of  a comfortable work-from-home set-up to make room for a more stable, more organized office job in Makati. I never thought I’d go back to the work force again after 2 years of being an SEO nomad, but stability is more important to me now than adventure, and I love how I can separate work from home and home from work this time around. Someone’s getting old.

I got married, which opened up a floodgate of big changes, like the change of address, and a hyphenated name, among many others.

It’s heartwarming, looking back and seeing what God has done and how far He has brought us in such a short period of time. Before 2011 started, our game plan was quite different. As the year ended, God proved once again that He’s a God of sweet surprises, and that we can never out-plan Him.

Which brings me back to our game. Try it. What were you doing exactly this time last year? How much has changed since? Are you doing something you planned and worked hard for, or something totally unexpected?

A warning, be careful to not dwell too much on the past. It’s one thing to look back and be stuck in what-ifs and what-should-have-beens, another thing to look back for the purpose of moving forward and being thankful for what you have now.

New Years are for clean slates and new beginnings. I pray that you find yourself counting blessings this 2012. :)

Exactly a month ago, we put together our little Christmas tree at home, and I think I may have said I was “excited” to post more photos. So much for my excitement. The month has been packed with so many things, and uploading these photographs was the first to be pushed down my list! Anyway, here they are, for traditions’ sake.

It’s our first Christmas as husband and wife, and I love that we get to start our own Christmas traditions. Last year, I had some instax photographs up on my Christmas tree, and this year, we thought we’d do the same. We picked some of our favorite photographs from the wedding and the honeymoon and printed them out with our Polaroid Pogo. It’s a cute little project, something we hope we can keep on doing for years to come.

On another note, I know it has been a challenge for our country to celebrate Christmas this year when Cagayan de Oro and Iligan City are still under the state of calamity. We don’t have a television at home, and quite honestly, my husband and I have only seen and heard so much. I know we’ll never really have a clear picture of what’s happening out there, but our family feels somehow involved. My eldest brother is there since last week; as part of his job, he’s with the ABS-CBN Engineering Crew which covers the relief operations there. It’s our first Christmas Day without him, probably even New Year too. Ergo, we had to let go of certain Christmas traditions this year to make way for my brother to be where he’s needed more.

I look at Ate Imy (my sister-in-law) and Isaac and I imagine how difficult it must be for them to celebrate Christmas without Kuya. But then I think about the thousands of families in Cagayan de Oro and Iligan who lost their loved ones and friends over the flash flood, and how devastating Christmas and New Year must be like for them. As I stare at our Christmas tree here at home, my heart goes out to the victims of Sendong who lost their homes and didn’t get the chance to put up their trees this year. At the time of this writing, the death toll has reached about 1,500. This is even more tragic than Ondoy.

Suddenly, no personal issues or problems are too big.

It’s easy to question the goodness of God at a time like this, but words from the Bible pop up like bright stars in the dark sky: “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.” (Isaiah 55:9) God sees everything in a bigger perspective, and as far as His grand scheme of things is concerned, everything happens for a reason and for our own good. His ways are higher, we only have to be still and know that He is God (Psalm 46:10)—and believe that with all our hearts.

For the rest of us who are not in the center of this tragedy and are watching this from a distance, it’s our chance to help and make a difference. I’m not directly connected with any relief efforts for Sendong, but I think the surest way for our donations to reach Cagayan de Oro and Iligan is through Red Cross. We have 2 more days left before 2011 ends, let’s make it count.

It’s not the first time we celebrated his birthday together. Last year we were in New York, but his birthday was also the last day of my trip and I was flying back to Manila the very next day. Our emotions were all over the place, I remember. We busied ourselves doing last minute Christmas shopping, and packing up my suitcases, and trying to ignore the fact that we were going to part ways again. As the night was ending, we did our best to stay up and keep our eyes open even if we were tired and spent, until it was time to drag my feet and my luggage to the airport.

That’s how we spent his 27th birthday.

This year was a perfect contrast. :)

This year, we were not in a rush. We waited for the clock to strike 12 (same timezone, yes!), spent the first minutes on Skype with my father-in-law, and he opened his gifts like he couldn’t wait. We had a long uninterrupted sleep, we woke up next to each other, and I cooked breakfast like I never did before. (Well, we never eat breakfast.) And then we spent the day doing whatever the birthday boy thought of doing.

We’ve had parties here and there the whole month of December, we even hosted some at home; so for his birthday, he specially requested to have the day just to ourselves. We played some sets of bowling, watched a movie, had a full-body massage and spa, and a late night Taco party with the Velardos.

It was a beautiful, serene, quality time together, accentuated by lots of laughter, hugs and kisses, tears of joy, and moments we would stop in our tracks and marvel at God’s grand scheme of things. Oh how things didn’t seem to make sense before! And oh how He unraveled His great master plan and brought us where we are in His own sweet time.

I’ve been blogging relentlessly about our story, mostly because the daily dose of inspiration is too overwhelming to contain and I need a place to share them all; partly because I have a feeling that someone somewhere is going through similar valleys and roads, and I thought, if only I could encourage at least one person to keep the faith and never tire on chasing his/her dreams, then this blog has served beyond its purpose. Although it’s not really a self-help blog with how-tos and 101s to long distance relationships and chasing dreams (well, not yet), I’m happy to be sharing my life here as a case study. Lest you need to pick up a lesson or two.

God has made many of my dreams come true, and replaced the good ones with the best; and while the journey is not a walk in the park and we have to hurdle through difficult situations and people along the way, God is faithful, and well, we’re living our lives together now aren’t we? :)

So to you who’s going through your own roller-coaster ride of a life and wondering when the chase will end, take it from us: God has your best interest in mind, always. He will see you through. Just as He did with us.