I’ve been meaning to post an obligatory birthday blog. It has been a tradition I didn’t realize I was doing, documenting my birthday year after year after year since 2003 (and no, I’m not going to link back to my tabulas and blogspot days anymore because the older birthday posts are just too embarrassing).

I did write a birthday blog two weeks ago, but I posted it on a more discrete place, and well, maybe I’ll link back to it next year when I’m ready. Right now I just want an excuse to post these photos, hee.

I guess what set this year apart from the other birthdays was, this time, I wanted to lie low on the celebrations. And yes, contrary to the photos you’re seeing, I really did plan on just having a quiet day at home where I can work and contemplate on the past 27 years of my life (srsly), my only wish being that baby Isaac spent the day with me. But then my Mom, being the mother that she is (why thank you, mother!), couldn’t stop herself from preparing a surprise (and quick) birthday lunch for me, before she went out-of-town with some of our balikbayan relatives. Other highlights include dinner with Kuya Nate, Ate Imy & Isaac, the usual after-dinner coffee with Xai & Ivy, a bouquet of balloons delivered by Mark the latte boy, a pair of Nike slippers from my New Yorker cousin, a happy birthday serenade via Skype, and a humiliating photo album posted by Kuya Nikos in Facebook.

I can’t think of anything else I haven’t said already in my past birthdays, about growing one year older, leaving the past behind, being thankful for what you have, and how, when you turn a certain age, it would feel like your life is never going to be the same again. (Reading my old birthday posts, I find it funny now how I would say those very words every year!)

But ahh, a word to those who are turning 27, just.. keep it cool. When you reach this age, you will feel all sorts of pressure. See, your age is closer to 30 now, and if you’re like me who still doesn’t have a kid at this age, everyone will keep reminding you of your biological clock. Be ready to answer questions like, ‘when are you getting married?’ or ‘do you have a boyfriend?’, or ‘what are you waiting for?’, you’ll encounter lots of those on a daily basis. Prepare a standard answer, practice your smile. Keep your composure, there’s no need to feel anxious.

By this time you would have experienced how it’s like to have your heart broken, found success (or failure) in your career, enjoyed your independence, made countless of mistakes. That’s fine, what doesn’t kill you will only make you stronger, we often hear and say. At 27, you will always find yourself drawing strength from your past experiences and realizing that with God’s grace, you have, indeed, become a better person.

Sure, you will have to make decisions that will alter your life forever, but what I’ve come to realize is, whatever choice you make, or wherever God places you when you turn 27, you will be okay. Whether you choose to pursue your career, or settle down and start a family (or whether you’re already raising a family!), know that not one choice is better than the other. You will do fine, either way. And God.. God will remain faithful no matter what, you’ll just have to keep trusting and believing that He’s got the rest of your life in His hands.

You know how we sometimes get heartbroken over closed doors and how it feels like it’s the end of the world when God answers us with a “NO”? The ironic thing about closed doors is, while they, more often than not, leave us heartbroken, disoriented and empty-handed, they’re actually some of the best things that can ever happen to our young, stubborn, and reckless lives. In essence, in spite of all the seemingly bad things that they come with, closed doors actually make decision-making a whole lot easier.

When I was in Sydney in 2008, my cousin and I took a drive one Sunday afternoon to this quaint little town called Wollongong, an hour’s drive south of the city. (Wollongong is, by the way, one of my most, if not the most, favorite places in New South Wales.) We reached Wollongong that day alright, but going back to the city we missed a turn, so we ended up driving around in circles for more than 2 hours finding our way home. Amazingly enough, it was the “NO ENTRY” signs that brought us back on track.

It’s simple logic. When there’s a “NO ENTRY” sign, you have no choice but to not take that route. When God closes a door, you don’t push your way through that closed door, you wait on Him to open another one. When God answers your questions and prayers with a resounding”NO”, you trust and acknowledge that He wants something else for you.

Such is life.

And I know it’s easier said than done, but I’ve learned in my 26 (almost 27) years of existence that God’s NOs in my life ultimately took me back where I’m supposed to be, especially during those times when I became too stubborn to admit that I lost my way, or times when I deluded myself into thinking that I was on the right track that I stopped relying and asking Him for directions. “Closed doors are God’s way of directing us on the path He wants us to walk on,” I read somewhere. I couldn’t agree more.

Four months ago God closed a door to my face, and took me out of a place that was clearly not His will for me. And now, I can’t help but heave a sigh of relief, thanking God for being more stubborn than I am, and for loving me so much that He closed all the other doors except for this one that He so lovingly left open for me.

+ OAN, I was at the Darlene Zschech and Hillsong Team’s Worship Concert last week, and it was made of awesome. :)

And I mean that two ways. (1) In behalf of my friend, whose name is Love; and (2) In behalf of this thing you won’t dare try to define because every definition would seem to fall short; this thing that brings two people together to take the leap and journey their lives as one.

Meet Lovelle, or “Love” as friends call her. We knew each other from UP Diliman but her family migrated to Sydney shortly after graduation. When I went there in 2008, Lovelle was among the few friends I got in touch with. I honestly can’t recall the specific details anymore, but I do remember that our quick lunch date then was a meaningful exchange of stories and prayers between two crazy, lovestruck dreamers. These photos are from that beautiful afternoon in Paramatta, we only had a few, oh how I wish I took more!

It has been a while since I last heard from her, and since she last updated her blog. And so I was pleasantly surprised to read this short and sweet blog comment she left in one of my posts, which lead to an exchange of happy emails between two giggly, still-lovestruck but now-2-years-older-and-wiser dreamers.

Here’s an excerpt from her email, her response to my demand for details:

Last Sunday night after church, we were having our goodbye hug but this time, he didn’t let go straight away, instead he whispered, “Will you marry me?” So I had to step back and get him to repeat the question. Haha.

It’s so funny coz all day, even at church, he was agitated and always sulking but he won’t tell me the reason why. At that point, everything dawned on me that he was really scared/tensed/about-to-die coz he didn’t know if I’m gonna say yes to his proposal.

When he asked the question again, I said YES. :)

He didn’t even get a ring coz he’s not too sure of my size so we went engagement ring shopping just today and I got to pick the style and the cut I want. :D

I’ve heard all sorts of engagement proposals, ones which had all the grandeur and fireworks, and they’re great, no doubt about it. But there’s something about simple proposals such as this one that tugs into the deepest portions of my heart. I love the quiet, the simplicity, and how they happen at the most unexpected of times. I can just imagine Lovelle’s joy.

It inspires me to hear stories like these. Of lovers taking the path to marital bliss. Of couples being blessed with babies after years of praying for them. Of high school classmates passing the boards and now having an “Atty.” attached to their names. Of friends leaving their comfort zones, and successfully establishing their careers abroad.

Like I told Lovelle, stories such as hers are living testimonies and constant reminders that God stays true to His promises, and that He is who He said He is — Faithful, Perfecter of our faith, Author of love, Maker of all things beautiful.

Happy is an understatement, Lovelle. My heart soars for you, and the love of your life, and the exciting journey you’re taking together. ♥

I did cry, when you and Mae left me at Changi airport that day for my early morning flight back home. I know it looked like I just laughed my way through it while you cried all over the place (haha), but well, you know how I like pretending to be tough sometimes. (Of course you know.)

So yeah, it was just for a moment, when you and Mae disappeared around the corner, and it dawned on me how I didn’t even know when I’d see you two again next, that I started wiping away a batch of tears. (These Filipinas, what a bunch of crybabies, LOL.)

But heyy, it’s your birthday today, and I’m posting this photo of us because I kinda like how happy you looked here, headset and all. I still remember how happy you were when this photo was taken. We were at a friend’s wedding and you were running here and there keeping everything together. I’ve never seen your eyes twinkle the way they do when you’re coordinating events and weddings, and I really believe in my heart that someday, you’ll get to do that again. :)

So don’t be too sad now, okay? Think Jeremiah 29:11 when you feel like you’re starting to lose it. You may not be a-phonecall-and-30-minutes away from me anymore, but I kinda feel like we won’t have to be too far apart for too long. (Destination New York?) ;)

Happy birthday, Ivy! I thank God for letting me be a part of your life, and you a part of mine.

Love always,
Riz

2009 for me was a year of failed attempts in the travel department. 2008 had a couple of missed flights too, but at least it was the year when New York and Sydney happened, and surely, when two of your dream destinations happened in a period of 2 months, it simply trumps the stack of unused plane tickets you accumulated the whole year, right? But when you booked tickets almost every time Cebu Pacific launched an International Seat Sale and the whole year passed and you didn’t get to use every single one of them because of reasons beyond your control, then that’s a different sob story altogether.

Sadly, this photograph was the closest I’ve ever been out-of-the-country last year. I was off to Bangkok with Joni and Romela but as we checked our bags in, I came face-to-face with one of the most devastating news in all my history of travel: Sorry Miss, we can’t let you fly out, so go home and start unpacking your clothes. My passport was expiring in 5 months and 3 weeks that time, and okaaay, I kinda knew that it was expiring, but I wasn’t aware that the 6-month rule applies to Asian countries too.

Dude. I know. At least I got to experience the airport huh.

Prior to that failed Bangkok flight, I missed a Hong Kong trip with Mae and Joni (why hello Joni, it’s you again) because *cough* I happened to have acquired a disease that was too sensationalized I was sent off to solitary confinement for 2 weeks, I mean, come on, universe, are you serious?, there are 365 days in a year and you chose this weekend of all weekends for me to come down with The Flu, how freaky coincidental is that? *cough*

There were more missed flights, but those two I mentioned were the best ones. (Or worst ones, whatever.)

Cruel. Cruel was the year 2009. It’s one of those years you don’t ever want to replay over because you don’t want to be reminded of all those wasted plane tickets.

Hence I made it my personal goal to make things right this year. Chase dreams. Fly. See places. Be a ridiculously happy traveler. Fall in love in a foreign place. Fall in love with a foreign place. Get lost in a foreign place.

Oh, and NOT waste a single plane ticket again, EVER.

And hey, I know there will always be circumstances I won’t have control over, but I also know that I’m one year older and wiser now. You see, it’s just not possible to come out of a year like 2009 and not be a better person — hats off to God for making awesome things out of, well, years like 2009. And given that I’m, I believe, *ehem* a better version of myself now, I’m pretty confident that I have better judgment and wisdom to know which tickets to invest in and which are not worth wasting time and money over. (Send in your truckloads of grace, Lord. Bring it on!)

Brighter days ahead, I can see it now. This year is going to be great.

And yes, I’m really just talking about plane tickets, okay, gimme a break. c”,)