I did cry, when you and Mae left me at Changi airport that day for my early morning flight back home. I know it looked like I just laughed my way through it while you cried all over the place (haha iyakin behlat), but well, you know how I like pretending to be tough sometimes. (Of course you know.)

So yeah, it was just for a moment, when you and Mae disappeared around the corner, and it dawned on me how I didn’t even know when I’d see you two again next, that I started wiping away a batch of tears. (These Filipinas, what a bunch of crybabies, LOL.)

But heyy, it’s your birthday today, and I’m posting this photo of us because I kinda like how happy you looked here, headset and all. I still remember how happy you were when this photo was taken. We were at a friend’s wedding and you were running here and there keeping everything together. I’ve never seen your eyes twinkle the way they do when you’re coordinating events and weddings, and I really believe in my heart that someday, you’ll get to do that again. :)

So don’t be too sad now, okay? Think Jeremiah 29:11 when you feel like you’re starting to lose it. You may not be a-phonecall-and-30-minutes away from me anymore, but I kinda feel like we won’t have to be too far apart for too long. (Destination New York?) ;)

Happy birthday, Ivy! I thank God for letting me be a part of your life, and you a part of mine.

Love always,
Riz

2009 for me was a year of failed attempts in the travel department. 2008 had a couple of missed flights too, but at least it was the year when New York and Sydney happened, and surely, when two of your dream destinations happened in a period of 2 months, it simply trumps the stack of unused plane tickets you accumulated the whole year, right? But when you booked tickets almost every time Cebu Pacific launched an International Seat Sale and the whole year passed and you didn’t get to use every single one of them because of reasons beyond your control, then that’s a different sob story altogether.

Sadly, this photograph was the closest I’ve ever been out-of-the-country last year. I was off to Bangkok with Joni and Romela but as we checked our bags in, I came face-to-face with one of the most devastating news in all my history of travel: Sorry Miss, we can’t let you fly out, so go home and start unpacking your clothes. My passport was expiring in 5 months and 3 weeks that time, and okaaay, I kinda knew that it was expiring, but I wasn’t aware that the 6-month rule applies to Asian countries too.

Dude. I know. At least I got to experience the airport huh.

Prior to that failed Bangkok flight, I missed a Hong Kong trip with Mae and Joni (why hello Joni, it’s you again) because *cough* I happened to have acquired a disease that was too sensationalized I was sent off to solitary confinement for 2 weeks, I mean, come on, universe, are you serious?, there are 365 days in a year and you chose this weekend of all weekends for me to come down with The Flu, how freaky coincidental is that? *cough*

There were more missed flights, but those two I mentioned were the best ones. (Or worst ones, whatever.)

Cruel. Cruel was the year 2009. It’s one of those years you don’t ever want to replay over because you don’t want to be reminded of all those wasted plane tickets.

Hence I made it my personal goal to make things right this year. Chase dreams. Fly. See places. Be a ridiculously happy traveler. Fall in love in a foreign place. Fall in love with a foreign place. Get lost in a foreign place.

Oh, and NOT waste a single plane ticket again, EVER.

And hey, I know there will always be circumstances I won’t have control over, but I also know that I’m one year older and wiser now. You see, it’s just not possible to come out of a year like 2009 and not be a better person — hats off to God for making awesome things out of, well, years like 2009. And given that I’m, I believe, *ehem* a better version of myself now, I’m pretty confident that I have better judgment and wisdom to know which tickets to invest in and which are not worth wasting time and money over. (Send in your truckloads of grace, Lord. Bring it on!)

Brighter days ahead, I can see it now. This year is going to be great.

And yes, I’m really just talking about plane tickets, okay, gimme a break. c”,)

7 things I love about this week:

1) Welcoming my beautiful nephew Robert Isaac to the family.

2) That he gets to inherit our Dad’s name, Robert, that even if he didn’t get to meet him anymore, a part of his Lolo lives in him.

3) How “Tita Riz” seems to just roll off the tongue, I can imagine little Isaac soon saying my name and tugging on my skirt. “Tita Riz, I want ice cream.” “Tita Riz, let’s go to the zoo.” “Tita Riz, I wanna play plants and zombiess!” (Just you wait, kid, your Tita Riz will spoil you like crazy. And well, I’ll leave the disciplining to your Mom, Dad and Lola, haha.)

4) That he’s got all of us wrapped around his cute little finger without knowing it. He cries and everyone in the room panics, figuring out what he needs. He sleeps and we all silently stare at him like lovestruck puppies. He blinks and we all go “awww” with tiny hearts in our eyes. It’s kuh-rayy-zee what babies can do, when they’re not even doing anything at all!

5) That I got to take their first family picture, and that I was able to preserve love in a photograph. Definitely one for keeps. <3

6) That I’ve witnessed (over again) with my own eyes this beautiful thing called motherly love, something we often fail to appreciate because mothers are always there anyway. I can still picture in my head the look in Ate Imy’s face as she admires her son, and the twinkle in my Mom’s eyes everytime she speaks of her grandson. Priceless.

7) Finally, I love days when, not expecting anything, something beautiful happens (or someone comes along) and your life is never the same. Such is this week in the Sanchez home. <3

And so I pray for a life that’s full of days like these. Dear Lord, that’s all I ask today.

There’s no better way to spend an over-sensationalized occasion than this. Last Sunday, instead of the usual Bible Story telling, I let the kids play with colored papers, pens, and crayons and make cute little greeting cards for them to give to their parents. I think I enjoyed it more than they did. Sunday School is love.

Someone’s getting her sunshine back. :) (God is amazing, what can I say?)

* * *

Later, I spent the night with a bunch of (not so) “lonely” friends. But that’s a totally different story altogether. How about you? How did you spend your Valentines? :)

I don’t know if it’s a girl-thing, but I have this peculiar ability of attaching memories to places. I remember places by the way they once made me feel, or by memories I thought I already forgot. It’s a curse and a gift at the same time. Curse, because even when I don’t want to remember what happened here or there, I can’t help but do. Gift, because that also means that I get to contain memories in places, hence avoiding those places will ultimately make me forget and help me move on.

Exhibit A. Sometime in 2006, I had to avoid Greenbelt for one whole year because I had to forget a college boyfriend. Typical, I know, but effective nonetheless. Exhibit B. In 2007 when my Dad died, I had to avoid being in his office for a couple of months because it’s impossible to be there and not cry over the reality that we’re never going to see him there ever again. Exhibit C. In my last day in New York in 2008, I had to ask the cab driver to pass by 34th street on the way to the airport. Just one last ride through my most favorite spots in Manhattan, I thought, because I knew that after that ride I would start to forget. And that time I didn’t want to forget just yet.

In the past 5 years that I lived in Ortigas, Pasig, my moving from one apartment to another was characterized by some huge transition in my life — my Dad’s death, that big career move, a relationship that ended badly, etc — as if it’s become a coping mechanism of sorts. Consciously or unconsciously, I wasn’t quite sure. I just know that for me to be able to transition, I had to start over in a new place, akin to flipping a fresh new page in a notebook.

Six is the number of apartments here in Pasig that I moved in and out of in the span of 5 years. Anyone can beat that record? If moving is a degree in college, it would’ve been time for me to graduate by now. But I guess it’s not time to graduate from this moving around just yet.

In all this apartment-hopping, Delgado Place was where I stayed the longest. Not only was this low-rise condominium the prettiest and the most secured I’ve ever lived in, it’s also the one place that actually felt like second home to me. The guards and caretakers have become an extended family. “Adobo To”, that karinderya (eatery) across the street, has become my most favorite lunch hangout.

I loved living here. I honestly believed I would stay longer, that this was going to be my last stop, but hey, life’s funny that way. Often, the things you thought you were so sure of, you find out later, are just mere phases in your life. Nothing is certain, I learn over and over, so you’ll have to be ready to pack-up, leave the unnecessary baggage behind and go when God says it’s time to go.

Tomorrow I make my 7th move. I have been feeling sentimental about it the past two weeks, boxing up everything in this room that once made it feel like home. But I’m almost ready, and excited to make new memories in the next city I’m going to conquer.

“..and with that, we say goodbye to Delgado Place,” Mae tweeted after she & Joni spent one last night here in Delgado with me. Glad to know I’m not the only one sad to leave this place behind.

So yeah. Thank you, Delgado Place, I just had to say (and blog). It was lovely spending 2008 and 2009 under your roof.

There’s something undeniably refreshing about being around kids. Sure, they can be little monsters in their worst days and can be quite a handful at times. But their silly questions, wide-eyed curiosity, and their ability to make you appreciate the simplest of things is a real source of joy — that I can attest to.

You see, I started handling a Sunday School class in church yesterday. And for the next couple of Sundays, I get to have this wonderful job of sharing Bible stories to pre-schoolers, thinking of activities that they will enjoy, and babysitting them while their parents attend the Worship Service.

I didn’t really think I have the patience and attention span required to handle such responsibility, but time calls forth little changes in this life of mine and I have to make conscious efforts to get out of my zone and do stuff I was too complacent to try. Sad to admit, quarter life has so far made me bitter, overly serious, lonely and overworked, and I srsly need something to take me out of this rut I’m in.

So yeah. I signed up for this job in hopes of getting some sunshine back to my once-sunshiney self.

And trust me when I say that I see something wrong with that too because hey, as a Sunday School teacher, you should be the one putting something in the plate and ministering to the kids, right, and here I go looking at these kids as if they’re a bunch of therapists. Perhaps that’s the thing that has drawn me towards this ministry — you reach out to these kids hoping that they pick up little somethings out of the Bible stories you share to them and your funny interactions in class, but in hindsight, they’re actually the ones making a huge difference in your life. And the fact that they’re actually unconscious about it (that they’re instrumental to bringing forth answers to your adult life’s issues and dramas) makes the whole thing even more.. heaven-sent.

Sunday School to me is an answered prayer in every way.

Time and time again I get to be reminded why Jesus loves little children, and why He wants us to keep that childlike faith. Because children are happy little people. They have the most genuine smiles. They listen attentively, laugh much, say what’s in their minds. They ask a lot of questions, they seek for answers. They cling on and ask for help when they don’t know what to do, without any pretensions nor pride. They trust blindly, believe wholly, love easily.

I’m happy for the opportunity to have some of their sunshine rub in on me.

Edit. Thanks, Ate Jam, for sharing this verse:

1 At that time the disciples came up and asked Jesus, “Who then is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?”

2 And He called a little child to Himself and put him in the midst of them,

3 And said, “Truly I say to you, unless you repent [change, turn about] and become like little children, you can never enter the kingdom of heaven [at all].

4 Whoever will humble himself therefore and become like this little child [trusting, lowly, loving, forgiving] is greatest in the kingdom of heaven.

5 And whoever receives and accepts and welcomes one little child like this for My sake and in My name receives and accepts and welcomes Me.”

Matthew 18:1-5

The Filipinos’ voluntary and immediate response to give whatever help they can give to those who lost their homes and loved ones over typhoon Ondoy still gives me goosebumps. Along with the outpouring of rain in the past few days came the outpouring of compassion among Filipinos.

Empty shelves in Supermarkets are signs of, not panic-buying, but people hoarding boxes of canned goods, instant noodles and bottled water to bring to evacuation centers and establishments where relief operations are being held. #Ondoy and #Philippines being trending topics on twitter shows the concern and active participation of the youth in disseminating information online. Everyone just wants to sympathize, to be counted and to extend help.

Sure, many have given up on the Philippines already, but it is in times like this that I feel most hopeful. I see it as another opportunity for us to be united as a country, to rise above the situation, and to trust that God knows what He’s doing in our lives.

That’s my feet, in the photo, as I stood beside a batch of relief goods that were gathered and repacked this week in church to give to typhoon victims. I know my individual efforts are minuscule, but collectively I’m confident that we — all of us (anywhere in the Philippines and in the world) who took part — made a difference that we wouldn’t have achieved if we all chose to just stay at home, watch the news and do nothing. (Come to think of it, if you’ve been watching the news, you just CAN’T NOT do anything).

How about you? Where have your feet taken you lately?

[This photo was taken as part of the Unravelling E-course I'm taking for the next 8 weeks, how timely it is that the e-course started on this very week.]

* * *

A lot of Filipino families are still trapped in their homes that are still drowned in mud and flood. And that’s on top of another super typhoon, that’s currently in the Philippine territories at the time of this writing, which will surely leave more people devastated. We need as much help and prayers we can get.

To those of you who find it in your heart the burden to help these victims, posted after the jump is a list of establishments and organizations that are currently doing relief operations for Ondoy victims. For donations through Paypal and Credit Card, you can course them through Philippineaid.com.

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