I was done. I threw the proverbial towel and thought to myself, that’s it, I’m no longer going to pressure myself to keep updating this blog.
The plan was simple. I would just let www.chasingdreams.net expire without a word, no explanation, no goodbyes. No one would ever remember it existed.
I would make a backup and keep an archive somewhere for posterity’s sake.
Or not. It didn’t matter.
Maybe I’d go back to blogging again someday, when the twins are older or something.
Maybe not. I didn’t care.
There were a few factors that brought me to a point of quitting, but the downward spiral started spinning out of control when I had to face some major technical difficulties.
Let’s begin with the fact that this website is 8 years old.
Which makes it just like a good old Windows computer that has slowed down through time because of clogged up memory, not enough bandwidth, outdated operating system, or just really wornout hardware.
In other words, the pages were slow loading and it’s so hard to tweak anything without a thousand errors. Updating the site has become such a chore. I had a full editorial calendar that I was so excited to work on, only to be hampered by—of all things—technology.
And so I started finding a more advanced web hosting provider and somehow landed on the pages of InMotion Hosting.
The short story is, the moment I swiped my card and paid for a bunch of things they made me pay for, their customer support agents—who were all kind and friendly, pre-sale—suddenly started acting unfriendly and distant, even unapologetic. Everything was downhill from there.
They made tweaks that broke my website, they didn’t complete my website transfers, they auto-debit my credit card for extra service fees that weren’t explained to me properly, and let’s just say it wasn’t a pleasant experience dealing with some of their customer support agents too. It left me feeling a lot more frustrated than ever.
I decided to cancel everything after just 3 months. I had quite an intense twitter rant about it by the way, if you like to see. (Or not. It’s not pretty.) As a disclaimer, as much as I want to keep these “rants” to myself, I would like to keep the atmosphere of learning around here and hope that everyone reading this will learn something from my mistake.
The experience and the unnecessary price tag took away my momentum and excitement.
I decided to quit, not just InMotion Hosting, but blogging altogether.
This has been the story of this blog for the past 3 months. No I wasn’t just “taking a break” or “being busy with other things”, I actually did quit blogging out of frustration.
Isn’t it funny how we sometimes allow ourselves to quit for the wrong reasons?
Not to be overly dramatic (not to mention, unrealistic), I wanted InMotion Hosting to feel guilty about causing someone to give up on something she’s spent practically her whole life building.
Except, of course, InMotion Hosting doesn’t care. Not one bit. They carry on with their thousand other clients, business as usual. To them, I’m just one of a handful unsatisfied customers they can obviously live without.
Me losing a few hundred dollars was nothing to them, and they couldn’t (wouldn’t!) care less about me quitting whatever either.
As days went on and emotions subsided, I begin to realize the shallowness of my decision. (And the fact that InMotion Hosting is not going to return my moneys. Ha ha ha.)
You see, quitting is the brave thing to do when you’re quitting for the right reasons. But quitting for the wrong reasons? Remorse immediately follows. Everyday your resolve weakens, and you know in your heart—you shouldn’t have quit.
I wish I had a more noble reason for quitting—like I have to go be a mother, or I have to focus on my career, or I need to attend to more important things.
The thing is, none of those things (motherhood, career, life) is really in the way of me blogging. In fact, through all these years, blogging for me has been a constant respite, a creative expression, even a source of income that supports my family and career.
And even when it feels like no one is blogging anymore (seriously guys, where have all the good bloggers gone?), and vloggers and social media influencers seem to have taken over the internet, I just can’t help but keep coming back to this platform.
To quit blogging because I was scammed by a web hosting provider (or because I couldn’t sort out my bandwidth issues) was the lamest of all excuses. Looking back, what happened was really more about allowing myself to quit at the height of my emotions than InMotion’s inability to provide a good product and service.
What I’m really trying to say is,
I’m going to try again.
I’m going to keep trying.
And if I ever do quit blogging for good, I’m going to make sure I quit for the right reasons.
PS. In case you’re curious, I’m sorting out my bandwidth issues and I’m sticking it out with Dreamhost. I never really should have considered leaving.
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